don’t agree with many here. Im sIorry guys but I didn’t meant to offend you all but this is just my opinion on this matter. Sorry if you don’t like.
I’m going to get married soon. So to be frank I’m not married yet. I really don’t know the struggles you’re going through. But I can get an idea of your thoughts through this post and at the same time I’m not agreeing with your decision of getting a divorce in a very few years of marriage because trust me this will be a big mistake in your life I would say. I surely can understand your parents feelings also at the same I can realise what you are going through as well. You’re going through such a terrible depressive state. The reason might be many things which I don’t know. And I also know it will be difficult for many others who are in the married life as well. In the initial days of marriage everyone will face difficulties because of many adjustments we need to make when we are about to live with a new person in our life. We always feel uncomfortable with their characters and behaviours. But trust me it will be there in every marriages and relationships. And it’s not new. Also it doesn’t mean that the decision for every marriages should always be divorce. You know in Christianity marriage is considered as an institution.
It’s like studying the other person in every bit. There will always be difficulties like how we entered the first day of college. I must tell you the first week of my college was really a hell for me. There was ragging, there was hunger, beatings etc. but I somehow endured and not only me ofcourse every one who studied in that institution. So it’s very similar even in our marriage life too. It’s like an institution with lots of ups and downs. So If divorce is the only option then we must have the highest number of divorcees than married couples. So I beg you to Try to understand from his perspective and try to talk about your difficulties to someone whom you trust and maybe a psychiatrist or a psychologist would help. I think there are lots of doctors available in Facebook and some good hearted people are there to help without a consultation fee since you’re a doctor. So try something like that. Because you’re in the 4th stage of depression ( suicidal thoughts ) so it’s better to consult someone immediately.
I’m not going to ask you not to think about death or suicidal thoughts coz it’s difficult to get rid of those thoughts on your own when you’re in that stage of depression. But I can suggest you try to understand the real meaning of life. Just try to think about your past with good memories you have in the past. How much efforts you put throughout your childhood to become a doctor today? Post graduation is just an another step in our life and it’s not the only life we have. There are multitudes of options we have in this country and abroad. So don’t worry about your postgraduation or higher studies right now.
Take care. Hope you understand.