I know we all are in same boat, but BUT Life got stuck…
Negative thoughts (suicide of my senior, frd 
) involve me rather say grasping me more than positive vibes.
Should I consult a psychiatrist? Whatever may be the reason your own physical and as well as mental health is your first priority
No harm will be got out of a consultation - go for it ! Book an appointment ASAP.
You are a Doctor who gives life to us……
Never expected such thinking from you