Genuine advice needed 
I’m a 2016 batch student , just completed my internship. Now since1 week is left for NEET 2022, I have already come to the realisation that i have not given my 100% this year and won’t be selected this time. It may be due to my lack of focus, doing internship duties properly, or being pushed into clinical depression after my dad was admitted to hospital, me overthinking about my parental issues, or the mix up of all these.
I was prescribed Escitalopram 10mg +tdcs for anxiety and depression, to which i responded very strangely. I didn’t give consent for tdcs and also left Escitalopram because it was making me sleep all day long and also my crying spells increased. I had no one to speak to. Moreover, I just couldnt utter anything even if I want to.
My parents are still hopeful that I will be selected this year even when I told them that I am not prepared for this year. I didnt not even wanted the exam to be postponed in March. But since it did get postponed by 3 months, my parents are saying that how much more time do you want. They always make me repeat the same thing that I will drop a year and make me feel that dropping a year is a sin. This makes me so anxious and I start to cry.
I had to vacate the hostel on completion of internship. Now i want to stay away from home and prepare for 2023. But all that is so costly. I think I won’t be able to afford it till NEET 23 . My mother is always asking me to join some Non PG or MO service to sustain myself. But im not mentally prepared for the same because i want to focus on next exam which is in January only.
Thinking about all this along with deteriorating family issues makes me so close to suicidal thoughts. Please guide me what shall i do. I am very hopeless !
first get a job in some other city, preferably in a medical college and leave your parents. Do job, live independently and prepare for PG. It doesn’t matter how many years it takes. That is what I’m doing. Don’t give consent to tdcs. If they are forcing you, give police complaint, get a lawyer and file a case against them.
If you are sure you won’t get a seat in neet pg 2022, then start looking for a job from tomorrow itself. Now is the right time as many doctors will have left job for exam preparation and many vacancies will be there.
Buddy most of the doctors has gone through this phase after internship ,so not to worry time heals everything,eat nicely, sleep nicely,study nicely baki sab ignore maro!jab Milne wala hoga milega