After reading everyone’s feedback and spending some time doing research I think I’ve finally got it right. Its still not perfect, the doctors office should have bent it for me and sized it, but overall it’s gotten a lot better.
Here is what I’ve found for anyone else who was struggling with it.
First there’s a video on this website in the middle of the page with a walk-through. The video doesn’t entirely align with what they are saying, so listen to the words rather than what you are seeing. (I wish I was making that up, but they tell you to start with a certain strap while showing a different one.)
https://www.djoglobal.com/products/donjoy/x-act-rom-knee
Open the brace to it’s widest positions on each strap and place it under your leg.
Align the two knee posts with your knee. (It shows that these can be bent in if needed. I probably need this done, but didn’t want to go for that myself.)
On the posts the straps can slide up and down so adjust the height of each according using the sliders (if you’ve had sliding put the bottom one to its lowest point per the video).
Start with the high strap on the calf (2nd from bottom). Pull it until tight and then strap it. You may need to cut or fold the straps to shorten them. Then repeat on all straps.
Going forward ideally you can just use the release buttons. So far that’s worked fairly well for me with just minor readjustment.
Hopefully all of that makes sense. I’m happy to help answer questions. I still hate it, but after an hour or so fine tuning it yesterday it got a lot better. The biggest thing that helped me was opening it up as wide as it could go before adjusting it back down.
Thank you to everyone who offered advice.