An accurate definition of what a toxic parent is cannot be given. However, some signs do not cheat.
We have highlighted criteria for recognizing a toxic parent, but this list is not exhaustive. If you find out one of your parents meets these different criteria, now is the time to take off to protect yourself and those you love.
- A toxic parent criticizes and makes fun of their child
A toxic parent never congratulates their child. Nothing is ever good enough, perfect enough He’ll say phrases like: ′′ It’s good but you could have… This behavior will eventually make the child lose his confidence in him. He will never feel up to what he will be asked, because he wasn’t encouraged enough.
These criticisms will often be accompanied by mockery, which will destabilize the child even more, irrespective of age. These mockery will come in the family or in public. They can create deep wounds that will be very long to heal. Some jokes, say without bad intentions, can be disastrous for the child’s psyche.
- A toxic parent guilt their child
The toxic parent is also the one who will make their child feel permanently guilty. ′′ I warned you though… ", why don’t you ever listen ",… if I scolded you it’s because you were mean ",… when you do that stupidity, you hurt me a lot… ", ′′ If I work so hard, it’s so I can put you in a good school… ′′ These sentences may seem anodine, but at the end of the day, they end up make the child bear the weight of a responsibility that he is unable to bear.
Showing your child that he disappointed his parents is far more violent than just a remonstration. The child knows when he is doing stupidity, so he needs to be punished so he doesn’t want to do it again. But there’s no point in making him feel guilty.
- A toxic parent does not know how to welcome their child’s emotion
A child feels emotions that are not always understandable. However, they must always be greeted by parents. When a child falls, some parents quickly say: ′′ It’s nothing, come on, go back to play ". But on the contrary, you have to try to understand this emotion and make sure you soothe it: ′′ You had to get very bad, but you are very brave, I know you prefer to keep playing, I’m proud of you ". This little example illustrates how the toxic parent can behave when their child is sad or when they have scared.
Choking your children’s emotions can prove dangerous. A suffocated anger will come out a day when the other and disproportionately.
- A toxic parent imposes their views on their child
A toxic parent assumes that a child always has everything to learn. He will impose his tastes, choices and cravings, without taking care of listening to what his child wants. He always dreamed of making piano, his child will make piano. Even when the child becomes adult and parent in turn, he will always undergo the ′′ advice ′′ of his toxic father or mother, who will tell him how to educate his child, who will criticize his choices and make sure to always have his word to say.
A toxic parent interferes with their child’s life, even if they violate their privacy. He will never feel too much and won’t think for a moment that his child can do without his / her opinion or advice. A toxic parent is usually unable to trust their child.
- A toxic parent never apologizes
We’ll be told it’s a generation issue, that there was a time when parents didn’t have to ask their children for forgiveness, but this rhetoric doesn’t stand. We all make mistakes and if we want to teach our children to forgive and ask forgiveness, we must be examples. A toxic parent can’t admit they’re wrong because they don’t want to lose their face in front of their child.
The toxic parent ends up isolating their child, who gradually loses self-confidence and becomes aggressive with others to exteriorize their uneasy. When you are aware of having a toxic parent, you should not hesitate to distance yourself. If you realize that a friend or someone around you is behaving like this with your child, try to explain the harmful consequences of such behavior on your child.