Hello.
I am a 2nd time dropper since in the first time couldn’t make it and didn’t want to take para clinicals Noe had the money for deemed clinical.
Since last couple of days I am reading but it seems as if it’s just not going inside.
Even if it is time seems to just pass by and not able to even complete minimum targets even by doing pomodoro.
I dont have any hobby except studying tbh.
But now I think I am just slipping away.
Last year during preparation even when I wasn’t performing in GTs I still had kept my spirits high and never felt so doomed as I am feeling now.
I don’t even have any social problems to deal with that could distract me from ky studies.
Yet, I am a lazy potato!
I don’t think what will I do after 18th April. I just think how will I perform on that day . What if it’s the same as last year and I am again in the same situation. 
My classmates who are in the same boat are now getting great ranks . I pacify myself that I started from June July so don’t get as much as them. But I know that’s not the reason.
I don’t need a break since I already involuntary took one - I got sick so rested for 2 days peacefully.
I am not in a situation that I can’t plan out my studies. I very well can.
But I don’t understand why I am not able to execute.
This is just a venting out post. Because I don’t want to be in this vulnerable situation .